Sunday, December 6, 2015

A Political Journey

We throw the words "liberal" and "conservative" around a lot in political discussion, generally as an insult toward someone of the opposing persuasion.    However, what do they really mean?   I will offer my own story as an example of how subjective our understanding of the terms can be.  

Early Years

I come from Mid-Western stock.   My parents modeled and tried to pass on to us beliefs in hard work, education and personal responsibility.    They have been married for sixty years, raised three children and remain active in their church.   My parents were the first members of their families to go to college.   They held traditional jobs.  My father worked for a defense contractor for thirty years before pursuing a second career in retirement.  My mother was a teacher before I was born and returned to that profession after raising three boys.   My parents were frugal to a fault.   Our clothes were purchased at discount stores and our meals were home cooked.    Vacations consisted of going to church camp or taking long car trips to educational destinations.   

Despite this wealth of good examples, my initial political leanings came down to a single political ad during the race between Richard Nixon and George McGovern.   The Nixon ad cleverly showed a bunch of toy soldiers being knocked off a board.   The message was that if you voted for the peacenik McGovern, national defense and people who worked there would suffer.   In my eleven year old mind, a win by McGovern meant my father would be unemployed.   Then there was that whole conspiracy the liberal media called Watergate, but that's a story for another day.

High School

Fast forward seven years.   I was working hard in school and making good grades once I was finally eligible to take advanced placement courses.  I had a job sacking groceries beginning after my junior year.   Because my parents had taught me that you should never expect anything from anyone else, about 80% of my earnings went into my college fund and I had the princely sum of $10 per week for personal stuff (although you could buy a ticket to a rock concert for $7.50 back then).  While my co-workers all had cars, I walked to work until my parents got concerned about me walking home late and night and allowed to drive the family station wagon.    I was a National Merit Scholar but schools were not beating the doors down to recruit me or offer me aid.  My parents explained that because I was neither a minority or poor, I should not expect anything.    Eventually I found a school that offered me $1,000 per year (about 25% of the total ride) as a National Merit Scholar.   I had no thoughts of attending an Ivy League school because I knew we could not afford it and I was beginning to develop an attitude about the spoiled liberals on the East Coast.   

College

I was a political science major and a co-founder of the College Republicans at my school.   I was campus coordinator for George H.W. Bush who impressed me as having an impressive resume and being dedicated to good government.    Ronald Reagan scared me as an anti-Communist fanatic who would likely drag us into World War III but I liked his line that government was the problem, not the solution.   I would be working in a few years and did not want the government taking any more out of my paycheck than necessary.     Like a good Republican, I supported Reagan when he got the nomination.   I also supported our local Republican candidates who succeeded in ousting a handful of Democrats who were more conservative than they were.   In my mind, they were good government Republicans.   

During those days, I favored both personal freedom and limited government.   My initial belief was that the government had no business telling a woman whether to have an abortion or not.   However, I changed my mind after reading some feminist authors who argued that abortion was something forced on women by men who did not want to support their children.   My original start as a pro-lifer was not strongly influenced by religion.    I was a tepid Lutheran and we just didn't talk about nasty things like abortion.   Instead, I was influenced more by a view of personal responsibility, that if a couple created a child, they should take responsibility for it rather than seeking the easy way out through an abortion.   I'm not saying these beliefs were consistent.   I had very little sympathy for Jerry Falwell and the Moral Majority.   They were mostly Baptists and their brand of religiously inspired politics struck me as a bit nutty.   After all, they thought there was a religious mandate to abolish the Department of Education.   What did religion have to do with education?

The George W Bush Years

After college and Law School, I remained active in Republican politics.  I was asked to run for precinct chair by the religious conservatives.    I was a delegate to several state conventions.  I worked to get George W. Bush elected president.    I thought W would be great.   He had vanquished the foul-mouthed Ann Richards from the Governor's office and was going to go to Washington and talk some Texas common sense to the Eastern phonies.    I thought that W demolished Al Gore in the debates.

I would become deeply disenchanted with the Republican Party during the years 2000-2008.   First, the religious conservatives became obsessed with abortion as a litmus test.    I witnessed U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison being booed at the Republican State Convention for being a "pro-bort" because she was only 90% pro-life.   In 2003, we invaded Iraq.  I initially thought it was necessary because Saddam's weapons of mass destruction posed a threat to the region.  Instead, what we got were no weapons of mass destruction, Abu Ghraib and Sunni and Shiite militias fighting against the troops that had come to liberate them.   In 2005, Congress passed the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act.   It made bankruptcy much more complicated without offering any corresponding benefits.   It created a whole class of people who were too broke to file bankruptcy and couldn't file on their own because of all the traps built into the legislation.    Finally, throughout his terms, W tried to pass immigration reform only to be thwarted by his own party.   Immigration reform was important to me because it aligned with both my view of this nation as a land of immigrants, my economic belief in the laws of supply and demand and my personal views of Christian charity.   The recession of 2008 convinced me that Republicans were more interested in supporting big banks than helping the American people.

Two Election Cycles as an Independent

By 2008, I decided that I had had enough with the Republican Party and would consider myself an independent from that point on.    I voted for John McCain in 2008 because a felt that a free-thinking Republican who had extensive knowledge of government and had served honorably in the military would be better than a young candidate with a great personal story but little experience who might turn out to have some really dangerous ideas.   Four years later, I voted for Obama because bin Laden was dead and Chrysler and GM were alive and because he hadn't done most of the bad things I had feared that he might do.  I also did not appreciate all of the BS lying about his citizenship and his religion.   I don't like people who make up nasty slander and there was a lot of it going on.   On top of that, Romney was an out of touch plutocrat who renounced all of his prior views to get the nomination.  

Today

This year, I decided that I would no longer oppose gay marriage or first trimester abortions.   On gay marriage, I decided that it did not hurt me if two people who were of the same sex received government sanction for their union.   If it didn't hurt me and it made their lives better, then why not?   Allowing civil gay marriage does not require any church to perform a gay marriage.   Also, I seriously doubt that God is going to wreak vengeance on us for allowing gay marriage when He has not destroyed us for all the other nasty things that we do to hurt each other.    When it comes to abortion, the videos that were released this summer purporting to show Planned Parenthood selling baby parts and the subsequent shooting of a Planned Parenthood clinic convinced me that the pro-life movement is insane.  They profess so much concern about the unborn but they oppose any efforts to support those who are alive.   They support unborn life but cheer enthusiastically when the criminal justice system executes the innocent or when police officers break the law to kill and abuse the citizenry.   I will be happy to reconsider my position on first term abortions when the pro-life movement shows that they are capable of being honest and care about people after they are born.  

Definition of Conservatism

That has been a long journey.   Does it make a liberal, a conservative, none of the above?   Let's look at what the terms mean.    According to Merriam-Webster, conservative means:

1 :  preservative
 
2
a :  of or relating to a philosophy of conservatism
b capitalized :  of or constituting a political party professing the principles of conservatism: as
(1) :  of or constituting a party of the United Kingdom advocating support of established institutions (2) :  progressive conservative
 
3
a :  tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions :  traditional
b :  marked by moderation or caution conservative
estimate>
c :  marked by or relating to traditional norms of taste, elegance, style, or manners
 
4:  of, relating to, or practicing Conservative Judaism 
 
Throwing out the last definition, which is not very helpful, conservatives tend to favor supporting existing institutions and acting with moderation or caution.    To this, I would add favoring limited government and individual freedom.
 
Thus, a traditional conservative would support entities such as the church, the army, law enforcement, marriage and the traditional family and private business and would oppose expanding the role of government. A traditional conservative would support individual integrity and responsibility as well as a larger responsibility to society.    A traditional conservative would also act with moderation and caution.   

The biggest thing that I see lacking in modern conservativism is any sense of moderation and caution.  That is what initially drew me to George H.W. Bush.   The interesting thing about Ronald Reagan is that he built up national defense and confronted the Soviet Union but the only country he invaded was Grenada (and maybe Panama).    He knew the importance of projecting international power as well as the importance of using it sparingly.   George W. Bush, on the other hand, was all too ready to jump into two wars without having a well thought out plan.    That was not conservative. 

I also see today's Republicans as breaking with the narrative of supporting personal integrity and responsibility and the noblesse oblige to society at large.   Today's Republican party focuses on a radical view of Christianity that is devoted almost entirely to enforcing a code of personal morality and has little love of neighbor.    The willingness of Republicans to lie and to break the law is deeply unconservative.  While Democrats, particularly in Chicago, are good at the corruption game, Texas has an Attorney General who is likely to go to jail for securities fraud.   How conservative is that?  Today's Republican party echoes Gordon Gekko in saying greed is good.   They may talk a good game about saving the middle class but in practice all they ever propose is tax cuts that will never trickle down far enough.   

Definition of Liberal

What is the meaning of liberal?    According to Merriam-Webster:

1
a :  of, relating to, or based on the liberal arts <liberal education>
b archaic :  of or befitting a man of free birth
 
2
a :  marked by generosity :  openhanded liberal
giver>
b :  given or provided in a generous and openhanded way liberal
meal>
c :  ample, full
 
3   obsolete :  lacking moral restraint :  licentious
 
4 :  not literal or strict :  loose liberal
translation>
 
5:  broad-minded; especially :  not bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy, or traditional forms
 
6
a :  of, favoring, or based upon the principles of liberalism
b capitalized :  of or constituting a political party advocating or associated with the principles of political liberalism; especially :  of or constituting a political party in the United Kingdom associated with ideals of individual especially economic freedom, greater individual participation in government, and constitutional, political, and administrative reforms designed to secure these objectives 
 
This shows the dangers of relying on definitions.   The parts they got right were generosity, particularly if government is the engine of generosity and not being bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy or traditional form.   However, that is not the full picture.    Liberals believe in change, they have less respect for traditional institutions and they believe in the power of government to achieve a greater equality of result, or to provide a minimum level of support for all people.
 
Liberals are not afraid of bold, transformative action, such as the Tennessee Valley Authority, the Works Progress Administration and the Voting Rights Act.   They have much less respect for tradition in values.    Their biggest weakness is that their solution to nearly every problem is another government program.     Bernie Sanders' promise of free public college for all is typical of the liberal view.    My conservative friends are quite right that liberals are willing to bend the Constitution when it suits their needs, this being a subset of not being bound by tradition.    

Who I Am?  A Lutheran I Hope

I am not sure where I really fall these days, other than I know that I am not Republican.  However, a lot of what I believe is influenced by my religion.  I am a Lutheran which means that we originated as a reform movement.   While we haven't done much that is radical in the last 500 years, it is still in our blood.  I am strongly moved by the verses in the Bible which speak of love of neighbor.   I do not see the Bible as imposing a personal code with regard to sex while taking a hands off approach to everything else that we do.   I strongly believe that if you cannot love your neighbor who you have seen, you cannot love God whom you have not seen.   The obligation to love your neighbor does not necessarily mean adopting a government program for every need.   However, it certainly does not equate to social darwinism either.    I may not be a very good Christian, but I do try to let it influence my thinking.  



Saturday, November 21, 2015

There Is Plenty of Religious Violence to Go Around, So Don't Demonize Your Muslim Neighbors

"Too many people have lied in the name of Christ
For anyone to heed the call
So many people have died in the name of Christ
That I can't believe it all"

--Cathedral by Graham Nash (1977)

After the attacks in Paris, Beirut and Bamako, there is a lot of attention being paid to Islamist-inspired violence.    Republican candidates and officials want to ban all Syrian refugees from coming to this country because some of them might be terrorists.    Donald Trump has said that he would "strongly consider"shutting down mosques in the United States.    A meme on Facebook falsely claimed that there have been no Jewish or Christian terrorist attacks since 9/11/01 which listing a litany of Islamist attacks.  People still claim that President Obama loves Muslims more than Americans.  Meanwhile, Muslims cry out "not in my name" and condemn the killers as "un-Islamic."
     
I see two things going on here.   One is the very real revulsion and anger brought about by savage attacks on Western civilization.  The other, more sinister thread is the continuing battle in the culture wars to define America as a Judeo-Christian nation where Muslims, atheists, Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs and others who are not Jews or Christians are simply unwelcome.   

I am writing to argue that violence is a natural tendency of mankind which exists across most religions.    While Daesh has the highest body count in recent years, you can't characterize any religion as all violent or all peaceful.  

Violence in the Religious Texts

Commentators are quick to point out that the Quran is full of verses advocating death, rape, slavery and other nasty stuff.   They are correct.   However, the Quran also says "whosoever killeth a human being for other than manslaughter or corruption in the earth, it shall be as if he had killed all mankind."   5:32.     However, before we condemn Islam as inherently violent, it is worth looking at our own religions.    

The Jewish and Christian scriptures are full of violence.   One author added up all of the deaths attributed to God in the Bible and came up with a number ranging from between 2.8 million to 25 million.   You can read it here.   I found another article which summarized scriptural justifications for murder in Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity and Islam.  Because the Christian portion includes the Old Testament, it extends to Jews as well.    You and find it in section 5 of this article.   

Religious Violence in the 20th and 21st Centuries

Much of the history of the past 115 years has been written in blood.    We have seen two World Wars, multiple genocides and too many conflicts, terrorist attacks and lone wolf killings to count.   Many of these killings had religious origins.

Genocides

Genocide is the attempt by a government or other group to exterminate an entire people.   You can read about genocides in history here.    Many of these genocides were religious in nature.    

The Nazis, who I would characterize as a Pagan/Christian cult, killed six million Jews in the largest genocide during the period.

The Muslim Turks committed genocide against the Christian Armenians, Assyrians and Greeks during and after World War I, resulting in two to two and a half million killings over all.   

In 1984, about 2,800 Sikhs were killed by Hindus in India.

In July 1995, Christian Serbs and Croatians killed about 8,000 Muslims in Bosnia.   

You can also add in the genocides by the atheist Soviet Union and China against the Muslim Chechens and Buddhist Tibetans in the 1940s and 1950s respectively.    

Wars

 Many wars have had a religious component.   In Nigeria, about 20,000 people have died in violence between Christians and Muslims.    In Northern Ireland, about 3,500 people were killed in fighting between Catholics and Protestants.

Terrorist Attacks

Terrorist attacks have lower body counts but can have a greater impact on society.   For example, the murder of Yitzhak Rabin by a Jewish terrorist derailed the Oslo Peace Accords.    Here are some of the major terrorist attacks since 2000 (although I had to go back to 1994 to find a large attack by a Jewish terrorist):

1994:   Jewish terrorist kills 29 Muslims in Cave of the Patriarchs
 
9/11/01  Al Qaeda Attacks on U.S.    2,977 persons killed by Islamist terrorists.   Victims included Christians, Jews and Muslims.

Sept.-Oct. 2001:   White supremacist kills a Muslim and a Hindu in Texas because he thought they were Muslim
 
10/12/02:   202 killed by Jamaah Islamiyah in Bali, Indonesia
 
10/23/02:   170 killed by Chechens in Russia
 
2/17/04:   116 killed by Abu Sayyaf in Phillipines

3/11/04:    191 killed by Al Qaeda in Madrid, Spain   
 
9/1/04:  385 killed by Chechen terrorists in Beslan, Russia

8/4/05:   Jewish terrorist kills 4 Arab Israeli civilians
 
7/11/06:   209 killed by Pakistani-affiliated Islamists in Mumbai, India

8/14/07:    Sunnis kill 796 Yazidis in Iraq

727//08:    2 killed by Christian terrorists at Unitarian Church in Knoxville, TN
 
11/26/08:    Lashkar-e-Taiba kills 166 in Mumbai, India

6/10/09:   Security guard killed at Holocaust museum by white Supremacist terrorist
 
5/31/09:     George Tiller executed in Lutheran Church by anti-abortion terrorist
 
11/5/09:    Ft. Hood shooting by Maj. Nadal Hasan kills 13 in Texas

1/18-20/11:   Al Qaeda kills 137 in Iraq

7/22/11:   Christian terrorist Anders Breivik kills 77 in Norway
 
9/4/11:   Al Shabaab kills 100 in Somalia

5/21/12:  Al Qaeda affiliate kills 101 in Yemen

7/23/12:  Islamic State of Iraq kills 116 in Iraq

8/7/12:     Neo-Nazi terrorist kills 6 at Sikh Temple in Wisconsin

8/16/12:  Islamic State of Iraq kills 128 in Iraq

9/9/12:  Islamic State of Iraq kills 108 in Iraq

9/11/12:   4 killed in attack on U.S. Consulate in Benghazi

1/10/13:   Taliban affiliated group kills 130 in Pakistan

2/16/13:   Taliban affiliated group kills 110 Shias in Pakistan

8/15/13:   4 killed in Boston Marathon bombings in Boston, MA

Jan.-May 2014:   Christians killed over 1,000 Muslims in Central African Republic
 
2/14/14:   Boko Haram kills 200 in Nigeria

5/20/14:   Boko Haram kills 118 in Nigeria

8/14:  ISIL kills 700 Sunni Muslims in Iraq

11/28/14:    Boko Haram kills 120 Muslims in Nigeria mosque

12/4/14:     Incompetent Christian terrorist shoots up Austin; only succeeds in getting himself killed

12/16/14:    140 persons, most children killed by Taliban group in Peshawar, Pakistan

12/18/14:   230 tribesmen killed by ISIL in Syria

12/14:    ISIL kills 150 Iraqi women for refusing to marry their soldiers
 
1/8/15:    Boko Haram kills at least 200 in Nigeria.

3/20/15:  135 Muslims killed by ISIL in bombing of mosques in Yemen.

4/2/15:   148 people, mostly Christian students, killed by Al-Shabaab in Kenya.

6/17/15:   Neo-Nazi terrorist kills 9 Christians in South Carolina

7/31/15:     Palestinian baby and father killed by Jewish terrorist
 
10/10/15:   102 killed by ISIS in Ankara, Turkey.

10/31/15:  ISIS bombs Russian plane killing 224.
 
11/13/15:   ISIS kills 136 in Paris

What does all this show?   Most religious violence occurs in Africa and Asia.    Islamic terrorists are just as likely to kill their fellow Muslims as Christians or Jews.    With the exception of the Central African Republic, Christian and Jewish terrorists are much less deadly than their Muslim counterparts.  With the exception of Ft. Hood and the Boston Marathon bombing, I only listed terrorist acts by Islamists that killed over 100 people.   If I had used that filter for Christians and Jews, there would not have been anything to report.    Nevertheless, it is worth noting that since 9/11, there have been more people killed  in America by right-wing terrorists (185) than Muslims (37). 

Conclusion

We certainly live in a dangerous world.    Except for 9/11, America has been largely spared from the bloodshed which has gone on elsewhere in the world. Even the terrorist attacks of the past 15 years pale in comparison to the genocides of the 20th Century.    While we should be vigilant, there is simply no cause for demonizing American Muslims or shutting down mosques.    I suspect that if you took an honest survey of American Muslims (as opposed to the piece of crap cited by Glenn Beck in his recent book), you would find that most of them are here because they want to share in our freedom, not burn it down.  

Monday, August 3, 2015

The Confidence



Martin Jenkins had not been this nervous since the time during high school when he had been pulled over after having a few beers.   He knew that all of his hopes and dreams would take a nosedive if he were picked up for being a minor under the influence.   During those long moments as the officer just sat in his car, he tried to calm himself while his heart was beating at near cardiac arrest levels.   When the officer let him off with a warning, he felt like the luckiest man alive.   

Now, eight years later, he had successfully climbed the ladder to become an associate with Erwald, Grunz & Thomas, an established firm in Fort Worth.   It had not been an easy journey.   The party atmosphere of college and fraternity life gave way to the panic of law school.   After a poor first semester, he learned to borrow outlines from better students and scored a clerkship with Erwald, Grunz & Thomas after his second year.    The clerkship led to a job offer.

Erwald, Grunz & Thomas, known as EGT,  was the picture of a conservative Texas law firm.   Its clients were traditional Texas businesses--railroads, insurance companies, oil and gas producers.   Many of them had been with the firm for generations.    The firm's partners were white, male and belonged to the same private clubs.    While the firm hired a few female associates, they did not thrive in the boys club and eventually left.  There were no casual Fridays at EGT.   Associates learned early that the EGT uniform consisted of a dark suit with a white shirt, red tie and black shoes.  Most of the partners could be observed wearing their dark suits at the office on Saturday and donning similar apparel at church on Sunday. Failure to live up to these unwritten expectations could end the path to partnership. 

Martin Jenkins found that practicing law was every bit as difficult a transition as law school had been. Although he came in earlier than any of the other associates and stayed later, his supervising attorney, Arnold Longstreet, seemed indifferent to his work.   When he asked for help, the response was often, "Your law license looks the same as mine."   Although he turned out a large quantity of work, it wasn't the sort of thing that he imagined when he decided to go to law school.   He spent endless hours reviewing documents and doing research for the firm's largest client, McMurtry Petroleum.  He had just completed a memo on the tax attributes of a derivative tied to the oil depletion allowance and he wasn't sure he understood what he had written ten minutes later.

Now late on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, he had been summoned to the office of the senior partner, Marcus Erwald, III.   He fidgeted as he sat on the couch which was designed more for appearance than seating.    He wanted to check his phone, but he didn't want to be caught looking down when the firm's leader and leading biller summoned him. Instead, he looked at the imposing portrait of Marcus Erwald, Jr., the firm's first managing partner and father of the current occupant of the corner office on the 18th floor.  After what seemed like an eternity but was probably less than five minutes, the stern gatekeeper, Miss Bleucher, looked up and said, "Mr. Erwald will see you now."   He was always referred to as Mr. Erwald within the firm as though to speak his given name would invite fire from the sky.  

Mr. Erwald's office was dominated by floor to ceiling windows which offered a panoramic view of the Fort Worth skyline.  The inner walls were decorated with antique law books and memorabilia from the big man's college heyday as a defensive linebacker at TCU.     At six feet four inches tall, Mr. Erwald dominated the room even while sitting down.   The spartan oak table that he sat behind, which held only a telephone, a blotter and a blank legal pad, served to emphasize his bulk and power.   Even after 6:00 p.m., Mr. Erwald's shirt appeared freshly pressed and his tie was precisely knotted.    He leaned back in his chair and said, "Come in son, have a seat."    Martin positioned himself in one of the client chairs in front of the desk, balancing equal parts trepidation and awe at the sight of the inner sanctum.
  
"Martin, you've been here a little over a year now, so I know that you're aware how important McMurtry Petroleum is to this firm."

Jenkins nodded.

"This firm owes its existence to the McMurtry family.   My father represented Ernest McMurtry's grandfather and his father.   I inherited the relationship from my father.   Keep Ernest McMurtry happy and we have a firm.   Lose his business and no more bonuses, no more ski trips to Switzerland, no more fishing in the Cayman Islands."

Jenkins didn't think it was appropriate to point out that he did not get to take skiing vacations in Switzerland or fishing junkets to the Cayman Islands.     

"I think you understand that as lawyers, it is very important that we preserve our clients' confidences not just the attorney-client privileged conversations, but everything we know about them."

Jenkins' face began to turn red and he gulped, "Yes sir."     He tried to remember if he had let any details slip to his fellow associates.   Most of what he did was so dull that they had no interest talking shop in their off hours.   Not only that, but the few associates who had ever met Ernest McMurtry, IV described him as exceedingly dull and tedious, better suited to pouring over financial statements than carrying on his grandfather's wildcatting exploits.

"Good," Mr. Erwald said.   "So you'll understand if I request your commitment to the highest level of secrecy before bringing you in on a new project."

Jenkins began to breathe again.   He was not about to be fired for betraying client secrets.    "Yes sir," he replied.   "I would consider it a great privilege."

"You may see some things that could be unsettling," the partner continued.  "Once you've seen them, they can't be unseen.   You have to keep them inside even when you're in bed with your wife."

"I'm not married, sir," he said, "but I completely understand."   However, as he said this, his mind was racing. What could be so deeply confidential that it required being stared down by the most imposing lawyer in Fort Worth.   Was the firm laundering money?   Could be but that would earn them only a slap on the wrist if they were caught.   Were they bribing government officials?  Small potatoes.   What could be worse?

Mr. Erwald looked absentmindly for a moment then asked, "Do you dance?"

Jenkins blurted out, "Doesn't everyone?" before he had a chance to think about his answer.

"So what do you say?  Are you up for a special project?  It will keep you occupied through the Christmas holidays, so you'd best put any plans you had on hold."

"Yes, sir," Jenkins said, being the only words that seemed to come to his lips.

"Good," said Mr. Erwald.   "Report to the main conference room this Saturday evening, seven sharp.   And do not, under any circumstances, tell anyone about this conversation or where you will be.   I'll know if you do.   Run along now."

Jenkins got up and started to extend his hand, but noticed that Mr. Erwald did not reciprocate.  Instead, he turned and left the room with as much haste as he could without falling down.

The next day was Thanksgiving.   Jenkins spent it with some of his fraternity brothers drinking beer, eating turkey and watching football on TV.    After a large quantity of beer had been drunk, someone got the idea to play football in the street in front of the building.   Although they were nominally playing touch, Jenkins wound up hitting the pavement multiple times.

The next day, he stumbled into the office, hung over and bruised up and down the length of his body.    After four hours of halfway trying, he managed to bill seven hours and decided to call it a day.

Saturday morning he got up early and went for a long run to work the rest of the toxins out of his system.   After the first mile, he began to hit his rhythm and started to feel good.   Then his mind began to work overtime.   Just what awaited him at 7:00 p.m.?   Could he call in and tell Mr. Erwald that he was sick?   The flu had made an early debut that year.   No, he told himself, failure was not an option.    No matter what awaited him, he would face it head on.

On Saturday evening, he put on his best gray Brooks Brothers suit, starched white shirt and red tie.   He polished his black Giorgio Brutini wingtips then drove to the office.   

His heart beat faster as he rode the elevator to the firm's offices.   What was he getting himself into?   Was there still time to back out?    Would this help his bonus?

The firm occupied three floors of the American Bank Building.   The seventeenth floor was dominated by a massive conference room.   It filled the entire floor except for a small reception area.    As Jenkins exited the elevator, he observed that the door to the conference room was closed and the shades were drawn.  He could hear voices and movement within.  He knocked hesitantly on the door and waited.   There were no answer.      

Summoning his nerve and fighting the urge to flee, he opened the door.   There he saw . . . the partners . . . in tights with black tshirts.  Scowling at him from the left side of the room was his supervising attorney, Arnold Longstreet, his copious stomach protruding over the waistband of his tights.   In the center of the room, Mr. Erwald was giving direction to a woman in an oversized dress.   However, it wasn't a woman.   It was Ernest McMurtry, IV, the scion of the firm's largest client, someone Jenkins had only seen from pictures in the Society pages of the newspaper. 

Mr. Erwald turned around and noticed Jenkins standing there, his mouth hanging open.  "Don't just stand here," he said.   "Remember that I told you that we would do anything for a client?  Well, twenty-five years ago there was a crisis in the McMurtry family.    Ernest the Fourth, wanted to dance the Nutcracker; not watch the damn thing with his wife like respectable Fort Worth families do, but actually dance it.  While his father knew that he was straight as a West Texas highway, he was afraid that their society friends might think he was a sissy boy.   He was ready to kick Ernest out of the business and the family which would have left the company without a plan of succession.  That could have been catastrophic for the firm.

"I was just a junior partner back then.  However, when I played for the Horned Frogs, Coach Shofner  used ballet for conditioning and to reduce injuries so I knew  real men could do ballet.    I suggested that we stage our own very private showing of the Nutcracker put on by the partners.   Partners who don't make their billing targets get to be sugarplum fairies.  Ernest has been a toy soldier, a rat and for the last ten years, Mother Ginger."   

"The problem was finding someone to find Clara.   Since we have no female partners and never will, we had to find someone young and hungry enough to play the girl's part.   For the last six years Simmons here has played the part."

Jack Simmons, a junior partner nodded toward him.

"Unfortunately Simmons has done too much tailgating and lost his young, girlish figure.   So we needed a new Clara this year.   Here's the deal.  You dance the role of Clara and keep your mouth shut and in four years you make partner.  Guaranteed.   So what do you say?"

Jenkins smiled and said, "Let's get dancing."