Every morning when I wake up, there are three things that I check when I have time:
1. My email
2. My bank balance
3. Facebook
Within my family, there are a wide variety of attitudes toward Facebook ranging from suspicion to apathy to constant use. I never really expected that I would use it as much as I have. Here is my story.
I first signed up for Facebook to interact with my kids. OK, really to spy on them. I had heard that lots of bad stuff goes on online and I wanted to make sure that I wasn't an oblivious parent. It wasn't that I wanted to dig into their personal lives, I just wanted to be on the lookout for invitations to parties with sex and drugs or soliciations from guys named Snake who had just gotten out of prison. (My trainer who likes to stoke my paranoia is constantly warning me about Snake).
That has never happened. However, it has helped our communications. I learned of my daughters' first boyfriends when they changed their Facebook status to "in a relationship." They will also post on their status when they are sad, feeling sick or concerned. Facebook has opened the door to some good off-line conversations which might not have happened otherwise.
The other thing that I found interesting about Facebook is not it is not just high school kids who use it. Many of my Facebook friends are people who I know from soccer. It is nice to be able to stay in touch with them even after their daughters stop playing. This summer I learned that a girl who Stephanie had previously played soccer with was going to Japan. Stephanie is obsessed with all things Japanese, so I passed it on to her. I don't know whether they ever followed up, but it would have been an interesting conversation. I also learned that one of the soccer dads that Iknow was in Kuala Lumpur this week for business. While this is nothing earthshaking, it is just interesting to know.
Sometimes Facebook will turn up some of the most random connections you might expect. From Facebook, I found out that one of the soccer moms I knew was a lawyer. Not only that, but we had had the same bankruptcy professor. What made that interesting was that Prof. Hillinger had been a visiting professor at the University of Texas when I took her class and that my friend had studied with her in Connecticut. Small world.
I really expanded my friend list in anticipation of my 30th high school reunion. I had a graduating class of over 800. I hadn't heard from many of them since high school. Facebook was a good way to try to jog my memory to remember who were all these people I went to school with. I have also added many of my Texas Lutheran classmates as Facebook friends as well.
Finally, I use Facebook to keep up with candidates and causes that I like. I follow both Ed Shirley, the St. Eds theology professor and Bishop Barbie, who is the Stephen Colbert of the Evangelical Lutheran Church.
I have to admit that most of my Facebook friends are more like Facebook acquaintances. However, it is so rare that we have time to organize a dinner party or interact with another person on something that doesn't involve school, soccer or church that it is nice to have that contact with other adults even if it is on a superficial level.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Memories of Birthday Parties Past and Present
"Be excellent to one another and party on dudes!"--Abraham Lincoln in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
One thing about growing up is re-living memories you had when you were a kid with your children. I have taken my girls to Colonial Williamsburg, Washington, D.C. and White Sands, New Mexico, all places that I visited with my parents when I was growing up. I have also taken them to a baseball game, albeit a minor league one. However, one of the fondest memories that I have is of backyard birthday parties. When we lived in Massachusetts, we would invite everyone in the neighborhood and my dad would cook hotdogs and hamburgers and then we would go down to the ballfield and play baseball. At some point in the proceedings, I would usually throw up.
When I had kids, I wanted to recreate the experience. We set up tables in the backyard and put up streamers and balloons. We invited the neighbor kids. There would be birthday cake and games. At some point, Kristen would throw up or fall asleep. It was all good times. It was all completely orchestrated by the parents. We sent out the invitations, put up the decorations, baked the cake, organized the games and wrote out the name tags.
Kristen's Seventh Birthday Party
My birthday parties stopped after we moved to Texas. We didn't have the same close-knit neighborhood and at 13, I was really too old for such things. However, Kristen has kept the birthday party tradition alive all the way up to her 18th Birthday Party, which was yesterday.
Opening Presents in the Present Day
One thing which has changed is the level of adult involvement. We open our home to Kristen's friends, but really have no idea how many people are coming until they arrive. This year, Kristen warned me to expect 18 guests. I think I counted 28 at one point. My role was limited to buying and cooking the food and keeping a watchful eye on the festivities. Everything else was organized by Kristen and her friends.
Teenagers Caught on Video
This year's birthday party had a murder mystery theme. They found a script online and assigned parts. Despite having a large number of teenage boys and girls in close quarters, the result was organized chaos. And what do 17 and 18 year olds like? The most popular beverage was chocolate milk. The most popular food was Frito pie. This time the party went late into the night. However, I was the one who fell asleep.
A Scene From Murder at the Dunmore Lodge
It's hard to believe that I have an 18 year old. My little girl of birthday parties past is now old enough to get married or join the army (neither one of which I hope she does anytime soon). One thing that has changed is that birthday parties have gone from parent-driven events to communal gatherings. There is something gratifying about seeing a diverse group of kids organize a positive event where the strongest drink served was chocolate milk. The Who was right. The Kids are All Right.
One thing about growing up is re-living memories you had when you were a kid with your children. I have taken my girls to Colonial Williamsburg, Washington, D.C. and White Sands, New Mexico, all places that I visited with my parents when I was growing up. I have also taken them to a baseball game, albeit a minor league one. However, one of the fondest memories that I have is of backyard birthday parties. When we lived in Massachusetts, we would invite everyone in the neighborhood and my dad would cook hotdogs and hamburgers and then we would go down to the ballfield and play baseball. At some point in the proceedings, I would usually throw up.
When I had kids, I wanted to recreate the experience. We set up tables in the backyard and put up streamers and balloons. We invited the neighbor kids. There would be birthday cake and games. At some point, Kristen would throw up or fall asleep. It was all good times. It was all completely orchestrated by the parents. We sent out the invitations, put up the decorations, baked the cake, organized the games and wrote out the name tags.
Kristen's Seventh Birthday Party
My birthday parties stopped after we moved to Texas. We didn't have the same close-knit neighborhood and at 13, I was really too old for such things. However, Kristen has kept the birthday party tradition alive all the way up to her 18th Birthday Party, which was yesterday.
Opening Presents in the Present Day
One thing which has changed is the level of adult involvement. We open our home to Kristen's friends, but really have no idea how many people are coming until they arrive. This year, Kristen warned me to expect 18 guests. I think I counted 28 at one point. My role was limited to buying and cooking the food and keeping a watchful eye on the festivities. Everything else was organized by Kristen and her friends.
Teenagers Caught on Video
This year's birthday party had a murder mystery theme. They found a script online and assigned parts. Despite having a large number of teenage boys and girls in close quarters, the result was organized chaos. And what do 17 and 18 year olds like? The most popular beverage was chocolate milk. The most popular food was Frito pie. This time the party went late into the night. However, I was the one who fell asleep.
A Scene From Murder at the Dunmore Lodge
It's hard to believe that I have an 18 year old. My little girl of birthday parties past is now old enough to get married or join the army (neither one of which I hope she does anytime soon). One thing that has changed is that birthday parties have gone from parent-driven events to communal gatherings. There is something gratifying about seeing a diverse group of kids organize a positive event where the strongest drink served was chocolate milk. The Who was right. The Kids are All Right.
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