The "Thoughtful" Friend

My doctor put me on a two week cleansing regime because of concerns that my blood sugar was too high. The first few days weren't that bad. I was allowed to eat chicken, fish, lamb and all the vegetables I could swallow as well as a daily cleansing drink (it's not the nasty stuff you take before a colonoscopy that keeps you running to the bathroom; it's just nutrients and stuff).

As long as I could load up on chicken or salmon, I didn't mind having to give up caffeine, alcohol, red meat, nuts and dairy products (for a limited period of time). I've had some good meals: lamb and sweet potatoes, chicken and lentils, salmon and spinach. However, today I entered into a three day period where I am allowed just 3 cleansing shakes a day and all I can eat of one green vegetable. Determined to tough it out, I bought a super-sized bag of broccoli for today and several pounds of green beans for tomorrow. The good thing about broccoli is that it takes a really long time to chew it when it's raw. That way you can snack on it all day without running out.

When I arrived at work when I received a call. "Have you had breakfast?" "Yes," I said. This should not have been a surprise, since I almost always eat breakfast before work. "Can you take me to Whole Foods? I haven't eaten this morning." Willing to do a good deed, I said yes.

When we arrived, she asked, "Can you eat oatmeal on your diet?" "No," I said. "I can have the cleansing shake and one green vegetable for the next three days." (Oatmeal is forbidden anyway because it contains gluten). A few minutes later, "Do you want some nuts?" "No," I said. "I'm not allowed to eat nuts on the diet and all I am allowed today is the cleansing shake and a green vegetable." (Nuts are forbidden, although I don't really know why). A few minutes later. "Do you want to get some kale?" "No," I said. "I already have picked out broccoli for today's green vegetable."

By my count, I turned down offers of food I couldn't eat at least four times. Intellectually I realize that my friend comes from a culture where failure to offer someone food is a great shame. However, I really wanted to say, "You're a woman. Aren't you supposed to know that No means No. That applies to food also." Instead, I patiently kept saying no and went back to the office to eat my broccoli.