I have to admit that I have always found "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift to be a sweet and catchy song. However, I always thought that having a beautiful girl like Taylor Swift singing to an abused jock was a bit discordant. I tried to re-write the words from the viewpoint of a nerdy guy singing to a pretty girl. Here is my attempt.
You Belong With Me (A Nerd's Lament)
You're on the phone with your boyfriend
‒ he's upset,
He's going off about something that you said
'Cause he doesn't get your humor like I do.
I'm in the room ‒ it's a typical Tuesday night.
I'm doing calculus problems that he doesn't like.
And he'll never help you with your homework like I do.
But he wears jock straps
I wear pocket protectors
He's football captain
And I'm on the chess team
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.
If you could see
That I'm the one
Who understands you.
Been here all along.
So, why can't you see ‒
That like e=mc2,
You belong with me?
Walking the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be.
Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself,
"Hey, isn't this easy?"
And you've got a smile
That can light up this whole town.
I haven't seen it in awhile
Since he brought you down.
You say you're fine ‒ I know you better than that.
Hey, what you doing with a guy like that?
He wears Reeboks,
I wear Oxfords.
He's football captain,
And I'm on the chess team.
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.
If you could see
That I'm the one
Who understands you,
Been here all along.
So, why can't you see ‒
You belong with me?
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor.
All this time how could you not know, baby ‒
That like the hypotenuse of a right triangle,
You belong with me?
[Instrumental]
Oh, I remember you were driving to my house
In the middle of the night
He's going off about something that you said
'Cause he doesn't get your humor like I do.
I'm in the room ‒ it's a typical Tuesday night.
I'm doing calculus problems that he doesn't like.
And he'll never help you with your homework like I do.
But he wears jock straps
I wear pocket protectors
He's football captain
And I'm on the chess team
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.
If you could see
That I'm the one
Who understands you.
Been here all along.
So, why can't you see ‒
That like e=mc2,
You belong with me?
Walking the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be.
Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself,
"Hey, isn't this easy?"
And you've got a smile
That can light up this whole town.
I haven't seen it in awhile
Since he brought you down.
You say you're fine ‒ I know you better than that.
Hey, what you doing with a guy like that?
He wears Reeboks,
I wear Oxfords.
He's football captain,
And I'm on the chess team.
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.
If you could see
That I'm the one
Who understands you,
Been here all along.
So, why can't you see ‒
You belong with me?
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor.
All this time how could you not know, baby ‒
That like the hypotenuse of a right triangle,
You belong with me?
[Instrumental]
Oh, I remember you were driving to my house
In the middle of the night
(Cause I don’t have my license yet)
I'm the one who helps you with Physics
When you know you're 'bout to cry.
You know my favorite equations,
And you tell me about your dreams.
Think I know where you belong,
Think I know it's with me.
Can't you see
That I'm the one
Who understands you?
Been here all along.
So, why can't you see ‒
You belong with me?
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor.
All this time how could you not know, baby ‒
You belong with me,
You belong with me?
You belong with me.
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?
You belong with me.
I'm the one who helps you with Physics
When you know you're 'bout to cry.
You know my favorite equations,
And you tell me about your dreams.
Think I know where you belong,
Think I know it's with me.
Can't you see
That I'm the one
Who understands you?
Been here all along.
So, why can't you see ‒
You belong with me?
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor.
All this time how could you not know, baby ‒
You belong with me,
You belong with me?
You belong with me.
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?
You belong with me.
As a special bonus, here is the love poem from Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay:
The Love Poem from Harold & Kumar
I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed
(I did not write this. However, since I was talking about mathematical romanticism, it just seemed to fit).
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