Trying to Explain Soccer

I have a running debate with a colleague about whether I spend too much time away from the office on soccer. Twice a week I have to leave at the ridiculously early hour of 5:30pm for practice and I am not able to work Saturdays like a good lawyer should. In the course of a week, I am likely to get bit by mosquitos, get my face sunburned and get my legs scratched crawling through the brush looking for errant soccer balls. My colleague has intimated (although he/she has not come right out and said it), that soccer is a sport for rich suburban kids and that I should find a real cause to support, preferably one that involves attending luncheons to raise money for programs for inner city kids.

I will admit that soccer is not on a par with feeding the hungry. However, here are a few reasons why I would justify the time (aside from the more obvious reason that I just feel like it).

1. Childhood obesity is an epidemic in this country. If you look at the girls on my team, many of them have gazelle-like builds without an ounce of fat. Is this because of discipline and hard work or is it just high metabolism? I don't know. Then there are the girls who have more solid, muscular builds. Playing soccer vs. playing video games is the difference between being fit and strong or being flabby.

2. I once had a mom tell me that she was glad her daughter was playing soccer because she knew that for that hour and a half, she was not getting into trouble. The suburbs are not the innocent place they might appear to be from the outside. I did a voir dire demonstration at the high school where most of the girls on my team attend. It was a case about a teen busted for drug possession so I asked the question whether anyone had a friend or family member who had been arrested for drugs. Nearly every hand in the room went up.

3. Soccer is the world's sport and soccer exposes kids to people from different backgrounds. On my team, I have girls who were either born in or have a parent who was born in Scotland, France, Spain and the Phillipines. During check-in each week, I have to help the referees pronounce names like Maeve and Shonagh. On a soccer team, you have girls from many different backgrounds who must learn to work together for a common goal.

4. Soccer teaches assertiveness. Soccer is a contact sport played with minimal padding. You will not get the ball by being ladylike and demure. I pity the guy who messes with one of the girls on my team. If he is lucky, a dislocated shoulder is the least he will walk away with.

5. Soccer teaches leadership. Soccer, unlike football, is a player driven sport. Once you move to the full-sized field (which happens at age 12), there is a limit to how much instruction the coach can give from the sideline for the simple reason that a player on the far side of the field can't hear you. A successful team is one where the girls communicate with each other. It is also one where there are girls willing to take a leadership role. I will be the first to admit that there are girls on the team who know much more about how to play soccer than I do. It is a beautiful thing when they are willing to step up and be the teachers instead of just participants.

6. Finally, it is a chance to spend time with my daughter. In four years, she will be leaving for college and my role as a dad will be much less. I am glad to have the quality time while I can.

As a parent of daughters, I want to see my girls (and the extended family of the girls on the team) grow up to be healthy, responsible and productive adults. I see soccer as more than a sport for spoiled suburban kids. It teaches important life lessons. I am willing to participate in my own fumbling way because I hope that it will do some good for the girls who participate. It also gets me away from the computer in the office and into the outdoors, which is probably a good thing for me as well.