Life just got a whole lot more interesting around our house (and by interesting, I mean complicated). Val went back to work at the IRS yesterday. She works a seasonal job at the IRS and her shift is from 6pm to 2am. That means that I get to be Mr. Mom during the evenings.
After doing my regular job, I rush home to cook dinner (which Val has considerately set out on the counter for me to fix). Tonight I managed to pour pasta sauce down my pants leg and burn my finger on the oven. While dinner is cooking, I run up and down the stairs to see if the girls need help with their homework and to check email. On any given night, I go up and down the stairs at least ten times. Since soccer season is starting up, there are a lot of emails to send to make sure that girls get registered, referee courses get set up and that our pre-season league functions. Things will be even more exciting once all the spring activities get going. At that point, I will be driving kids to soccer practice and religious education in addition to fixing dinner and helping with homework. If I have to work late or go out of town, then things will get even more exciting.
The good part of this is that I get to connect more closely with our daughters. So far I have bounced on the trampoline with Stephanie two nights in a row. The bad news is that during the week, I really only see Val between 7:00 and 8:00 a.m. The rest of the time, one or the other of us is either at work or asleep. The craziness is bearable knowing that it is just for a few months. However, it really gives me a lot of respect for what it must be like to be a single mom.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Gran Torino is a Remarkable Movie
I rarely walk out of a movie and say "wow." However, that's exactly the reaction my wife and I had when we emerged from seeing Clint Eastwood's latest movie "Gran Torino." While the gaunt, aging Eastwood plays the same iconic loner who appeared in Spaghetti Westerns and the Dirty Harry films, his character is decidedly more complex.
In many respects, this is familiar territory. Clint Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski, a retired auto worker, who is left alone with his bitterness after his beloved wife dies. He is angry and resentful toward everyone around him from his self-absorbed sons to the Asian immigrants taking over his neighborhood to the earnest, young Catholic priest who tries to prod him into going to confession (leading him to retort "I confess that I don't want to go to confession."). He is an unrepentent bigot who has a seemingly endless vocabulary of ethnic slurs to sling at his Hmong neighbors, who he equates with the Chinese he fought in the Korean War.
However, Kowalski's wall against the outside world starts to crack when the teenage boy next door ries to steal his prized mint 1972 Gran Torino as part of a gang initiation. The failed theft leads to a confrontation between the boy and the gang. When Kowalski comes out rifle in hand and growls "Get off of my lawn" through gritted teeth and scares away the punks, he becomes a neighborhood hero. The scenes that follow are almost comic as his traditional Asian neighbors reluctantly reach out to him despite his protestations. Finally, the ice is broken when the boy's sister gets through to him with the universal language of beer.
As the plot develops, Kowalski becomes the protector and mentor of the teenage Hmong boy,taking the place of his deceased father. Kowalski teaches him everything from how to wear a tool belt to the proper way to talk to a girl. The gang resents having their initiate taken away from them and retaliates, leading to a confrontation between the forces of good and evil. The ending contains a surprise twist and redemption for the angry old man.
The movie is remarkable on many levels. To see character development in a Clint Eastwood movie is refreshing. The clash of cultures between the traditional Polish-American Kowalski and his traditional Hmong neighbors is delicately played out. The sympathetic portrayal of a naive young Catholic priest is also engaging. Without spoiling the ending too badly, there is also a sequence where Eastwood plays homage to the John Wayne role in "Rooster Cogburn." While the critics have given this a ho-hum response, it is a movie worth seeing.
In many respects, this is familiar territory. Clint Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski, a retired auto worker, who is left alone with his bitterness after his beloved wife dies. He is angry and resentful toward everyone around him from his self-absorbed sons to the Asian immigrants taking over his neighborhood to the earnest, young Catholic priest who tries to prod him into going to confession (leading him to retort "I confess that I don't want to go to confession."). He is an unrepentent bigot who has a seemingly endless vocabulary of ethnic slurs to sling at his Hmong neighbors, who he equates with the Chinese he fought in the Korean War.
However, Kowalski's wall against the outside world starts to crack when the teenage boy next door ries to steal his prized mint 1972 Gran Torino as part of a gang initiation. The failed theft leads to a confrontation between the boy and the gang. When Kowalski comes out rifle in hand and growls "Get off of my lawn" through gritted teeth and scares away the punks, he becomes a neighborhood hero. The scenes that follow are almost comic as his traditional Asian neighbors reluctantly reach out to him despite his protestations. Finally, the ice is broken when the boy's sister gets through to him with the universal language of beer.
As the plot develops, Kowalski becomes the protector and mentor of the teenage Hmong boy,taking the place of his deceased father. Kowalski teaches him everything from how to wear a tool belt to the proper way to talk to a girl. The gang resents having their initiate taken away from them and retaliates, leading to a confrontation between the forces of good and evil. The ending contains a surprise twist and redemption for the angry old man.
The movie is remarkable on many levels. To see character development in a Clint Eastwood movie is refreshing. The clash of cultures between the traditional Polish-American Kowalski and his traditional Hmong neighbors is delicately played out. The sympathetic portrayal of a naive young Catholic priest is also engaging. Without spoiling the ending too badly, there is also a sequence where Eastwood plays homage to the John Wayne role in "Rooster Cogburn." While the critics have given this a ho-hum response, it is a movie worth seeing.
A Tale of Two Sandwich Shops
I am not usually a big fan of the buy local movement. It brings to mind trendy, overpriced boutiques. However, there is one area where I am a true believer. There are two sandwich shops near my office. One is a corporate chain which advertises on TV a lot. The other is Thundercloud subs, a homegrown business, which according to company legend was started with a loan on a VW bug.
The biggest similarity between the two shops is that they both have a line out the door at lunchtime. However, there the comparison ends. At the corporate chain, the line is out the door because they usually don't have more than two sullen employees working the lunchtime rush, going methodically through their paces and occasionally disappearing into the back of the store. At Thundercloud, there are at least half a dozen tatooed, pierced, smiling employees making the sandwiches fly. The difference in atmosphere is remarkable. It makes me smile to watch the Thundercloud employees work their magic and to listen to the banter between them. I rarely have to wait more than ten minutes for a sandwich, which is helpful when my daughter texts me to let me know that she forgot to bring a lunch to school and that lunch period will be over in 30 minutes. Also, the sandwiches just taste fresher. The bread is delightfully chewy, the turkey is tasty and the Thunder sauce adds zest to the finished product.
The biggest similarity between the two shops is that they both have a line out the door at lunchtime. However, there the comparison ends. At the corporate chain, the line is out the door because they usually don't have more than two sullen employees working the lunchtime rush, going methodically through their paces and occasionally disappearing into the back of the store. At Thundercloud, there are at least half a dozen tatooed, pierced, smiling employees making the sandwiches fly. The difference in atmosphere is remarkable. It makes me smile to watch the Thundercloud employees work their magic and to listen to the banter between them. I rarely have to wait more than ten minutes for a sandwich, which is helpful when my daughter texts me to let me know that she forgot to bring a lunch to school and that lunch period will be over in 30 minutes. Also, the sandwiches just taste fresher. The bread is delightfully chewy, the turkey is tasty and the Thunder sauce adds zest to the finished product.
Monday, January 5, 2009
What Makes a Good Movie?
I love movies. While books can provide a deeper mental exercise, movies provide a powerful web of sight and sound and unwind at a faster pace. So, did I say that I like movies? However, at the end of each year, when the critics release their lists of the best movies of the year, I am always surprised at how few I have even heard of.
This year's critics' picks fall into three categories for me: those I have seen, those that I would like to see and those you couldn't pay to watch. The movies that I had the chance to watch were Let the Right One In (a Danish vampire movie) and Batman: The Dark Knight. There were also two more movies that I would like to see when I get the chance: Slumdog Millionaire and Wall-E. What do these films have in common? You have a brooding movie about a bullied boy who is befriended by a female vampire, a brooding movie about a vigilante crimefighter and a brooding movie about a robot left behind on a polluted planet. Of these movies, only Slumdog Millionaire remotely qualifies as a feel-good movie (although it has some violent scenes in it).
The movies that I didn't see also seem to be full of gloom and depression. There is Synecdoche, New York, a movie about a troubled theater director and the women in his life. Then there's Doubt, another movie about Catholic priest abuse, except that there is doubt about whether he really did it. Just in time for the Christmas season, there is A Christmas Tale, a movie about mental illness and estrangement at the holidays. Although it didn't show up on many lists, there is also Rachel Getting Married, which is about an estranged daughter who shows up for her sister's wedding. There is also In Bruges about some conflicted hitmen hanging out in a Belgian town. For those who like action, The Wrestler is the story of an aging, washed up wrestler and his agonies.
In looking at these movies, it seems like there are a lot of depressed, unhappy people making movies that appeal to a lot of depressed, unhappy critics. I don't mind a deep movie, but I wonder whether it is necessary for a good movie to have that ripping the scab off of a recent wound quality.
Here are some categories of movies which I enjoy, but which were in short supply (at least on the critics' lists) this year:
An Inspirational True Story (Schindler's List, the Sound of Music, Gandhi)
An Intelligent Zany Comedy (Bringing Up Baby, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming)
A Warped Comedy (Juno, Little Miss Sunshine, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure)
A Silly Lowbrow Comedy That Is Not Stupid (Animal House, Caddyshack, the Blues Brothers)(the not stupid qualifier eliminates most of this year's comedies)
An Epic Saga (Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Chronicles of Narnia)
A Good Thriller (The Hunt for Red October, Predator, the Fugitive)
A Really Scary Movie (The Shining,the Lost Boys, Poltergeist)
A Cool Sci-Fi Movie (The Running Man, Alien, Star Wars, the Blade Runner, the Terminator, 2001: A Space Odyssey)
A Clever Adaptation of Shakespeare (Romeo & Juliet with Leonardo DeCaprio and Claire Danes, the 2000 version of Hamlet set in New York, Kenneth Branagh's Henry V)
A Great Sports Movie (Bend It Like Beckham, Chariots of Fire)
A Good Family Movie (Bridge to Terabithia, Aquamarine, Spy Kids, Back to the Future)
A Good Chick Flick (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Tortilla Soup)
A Good Ethnic Movie (My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Bend It Like Beckham, Tortilla Soup)
A Musical/Movie About Music (Amadeus, La Bamba, Tommy, Godspell)
A Gritty War Movie (Saving Private Ryan, Apocalypse Now)
So do I know what makes a good movie? Maybe not, but I know it when I see it. I don't mind dark movies or movies with a bit of doom and gloom. Some of them can be disturbing in a good way. However, there are so many other types of movies worth watching.
This year's critics' picks fall into three categories for me: those I have seen, those that I would like to see and those you couldn't pay to watch. The movies that I had the chance to watch were Let the Right One In (a Danish vampire movie) and Batman: The Dark Knight. There were also two more movies that I would like to see when I get the chance: Slumdog Millionaire and Wall-E. What do these films have in common? You have a brooding movie about a bullied boy who is befriended by a female vampire, a brooding movie about a vigilante crimefighter and a brooding movie about a robot left behind on a polluted planet. Of these movies, only Slumdog Millionaire remotely qualifies as a feel-good movie (although it has some violent scenes in it).
The movies that I didn't see also seem to be full of gloom and depression. There is Synecdoche, New York, a movie about a troubled theater director and the women in his life. Then there's Doubt, another movie about Catholic priest abuse, except that there is doubt about whether he really did it. Just in time for the Christmas season, there is A Christmas Tale, a movie about mental illness and estrangement at the holidays. Although it didn't show up on many lists, there is also Rachel Getting Married, which is about an estranged daughter who shows up for her sister's wedding. There is also In Bruges about some conflicted hitmen hanging out in a Belgian town. For those who like action, The Wrestler is the story of an aging, washed up wrestler and his agonies.
In looking at these movies, it seems like there are a lot of depressed, unhappy people making movies that appeal to a lot of depressed, unhappy critics. I don't mind a deep movie, but I wonder whether it is necessary for a good movie to have that ripping the scab off of a recent wound quality.
Here are some categories of movies which I enjoy, but which were in short supply (at least on the critics' lists) this year:
An Inspirational True Story (Schindler's List, the Sound of Music, Gandhi)
An Intelligent Zany Comedy (Bringing Up Baby, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming)
A Warped Comedy (Juno, Little Miss Sunshine, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure)
A Silly Lowbrow Comedy That Is Not Stupid (Animal House, Caddyshack, the Blues Brothers)(the not stupid qualifier eliminates most of this year's comedies)
An Epic Saga (Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Chronicles of Narnia)
A Good Thriller (The Hunt for Red October, Predator, the Fugitive)
A Really Scary Movie (The Shining,the Lost Boys, Poltergeist)
A Cool Sci-Fi Movie (The Running Man, Alien, Star Wars, the Blade Runner, the Terminator, 2001: A Space Odyssey)
A Clever Adaptation of Shakespeare (Romeo & Juliet with Leonardo DeCaprio and Claire Danes, the 2000 version of Hamlet set in New York, Kenneth Branagh's Henry V)
A Great Sports Movie (Bend It Like Beckham, Chariots of Fire)
A Good Family Movie (Bridge to Terabithia, Aquamarine, Spy Kids, Back to the Future)
A Good Chick Flick (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Tortilla Soup)
A Good Ethnic Movie (My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Bend It Like Beckham, Tortilla Soup)
A Musical/Movie About Music (Amadeus, La Bamba, Tommy, Godspell)
A Gritty War Movie (Saving Private Ryan, Apocalypse Now)
So do I know what makes a good movie? Maybe not, but I know it when I see it. I don't mind dark movies or movies with a bit of doom and gloom. Some of them can be disturbing in a good way. However, there are so many other types of movies worth watching.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year: Shchedryk
Welcome to 2009. I hope everyone is recovering from last night. Here is a little New Year's trivia for you. The familiar Carol of the Bells is actually a Ukrainian New Year's carol in the original language.
I found this description of the song's history:
http://www.ffn.ub.es/~oleg/schedryk/shchedryk.html
Here is how it sounds in Ukrainian:
Here are the lyrics in Ukrainian:
Щедрик
Обработка М. Леонтовича
Щедрик щедрик, щедрiвочка,
прилетiла ластiвочка,
стала собi щебетати,
господаря викликати:
"Вийди, вийди, господарю,
подивися на кошару, -
там овечки покотились,
а ягнички народились.
В тебе товар весь хороший,
будешь мати мiрку грошей,
хоч не гроши, то полова,
В тебе жiнка чорноброва."
Щедрик щедрик, щедрiвочка,
прилетiла ластiвочка.
For those of you who are not fluent in Ukrainian, here is how they translate into English:
1st choir:
Shchedrik, shchedrik, shchedrivochka
A swallow flew in
And started to sing
Calling out the head of the house
Come out, come out, head of the house
Come look on your homestead
Over there the ewes have rolled
And the lambs are newly born.
2nd choir:
Your animals are all well-fed
You will receive much money.
Your wife is good-looking
If you get no money then you'll have chaff
But your wife is good-looking.
1st choir:
Shchedrik, shchedrik, shchedrivochka
A swallow fley in
And started to sing
Calling out the head of the house
Come look on your homestead
Over there the ewes have rolled
And the lambs are newly born.
2nd choir:
Your animals are well fed
You will receive much money.
Your wife is good-looking
If you get no money then you'll have chaff
Your wife is good-looking.
Shchedrik, shchedryk, shchedrivochka
In flew a swallow.
I bet you didn't know that the Carol of the Bells is really about a swallow flying in to say that your wife is good looking!
Another interesting fact is that in Ukraine, New Years is celebrated much like we celebrate Christmas. There are parties and they sing songs and decorate the new year's tree.
Best wishes to everyone for 2009, especially our friends in Ukraine.
I found this description of the song's history:
The melody was created in 1916 by Ukrainian composer Mykola Leontovych (1877-1921) and titled "Shchedryk". Based on an old Ukrainian folk song, the original lyrics describes the swallow flying into a household to proclaim the plentiful year that the family will have. The song's title is derived from the Ukrainian word "shchedryi" which means "bountiful." The swallow is a herald of spring coming, possibly of pre-Christian origins. The folk melody was sung in many Ukrainian villages on Jan. 13 – New Year's Eve on the Julian calendar – usually by adolescent girls going house to house in celebration of the new year.
The choral work Shchedryk was first performed by students at Kiev University in December 1916. When American choir director and arranger Peter Wilhousky (1902-1978) heard Leontovich's choral work, it reminded him of bells; so he wrote new lyrics to convey that imagery for his choir. He published the new lyrics in 1936. Of Czech background, Wilhousky grew up singing in Russian-American choirs and made many translations and arrangements of Slavic music. The title chosen by him "Carol of the Bells" was harmonious with the old Slavic legend that at midnight the evening Jesus was born all the bells on earth started to sound of their own accord in his honor. Since then the song has become a popular Christmas tune especially in the US and Canada where it is also known as "Ukrainian Carol".
http://www.ffn.ub.es/~oleg/schedryk/shchedryk.html
Here is how it sounds in Ukrainian:
Here are the lyrics in Ukrainian:
Щедрик
Обработка М. Леонтовича
Щедрик щедрик, щедрiвочка,
прилетiла ластiвочка,
стала собi щебетати,
господаря викликати:
"Вийди, вийди, господарю,
подивися на кошару, -
там овечки покотились,
а ягнички народились.
В тебе товар весь хороший,
будешь мати мiрку грошей,
хоч не гроши, то полова,
В тебе жiнка чорноброва."
Щедрик щедрик, щедрiвочка,
прилетiла ластiвочка.
For those of you who are not fluent in Ukrainian, here is how they translate into English:
1st choir:
Shchedrik, shchedrik, shchedrivochka
A swallow flew in
And started to sing
Calling out the head of the house
Come out, come out, head of the house
Come look on your homestead
Over there the ewes have rolled
And the lambs are newly born.
2nd choir:
Your animals are all well-fed
You will receive much money.
Your wife is good-looking
If you get no money then you'll have chaff
But your wife is good-looking.
1st choir:
Shchedrik, shchedrik, shchedrivochka
A swallow fley in
And started to sing
Calling out the head of the house
Come look on your homestead
Over there the ewes have rolled
And the lambs are newly born.
2nd choir:
Your animals are well fed
You will receive much money.
Your wife is good-looking
If you get no money then you'll have chaff
Your wife is good-looking.
Shchedrik, shchedryk, shchedrivochka
In flew a swallow.
I bet you didn't know that the Carol of the Bells is really about a swallow flying in to say that your wife is good looking!
Another interesting fact is that in Ukraine, New Years is celebrated much like we celebrate Christmas. There are parties and they sing songs and decorate the new year's tree.
Best wishes to everyone for 2009, especially our friends in Ukraine.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Church Bulletin Bloopers
In the spirit of the holiday, here is some church humor. These have been circulating on the internet, so they are not original with me. However, they are pretty funny.
My Favorite:
Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Name: Bertha Belch. Announcement: Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa".
Events
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
Thursday night: Potluck Supper - Prayer and medication will follow.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
Announcement in a church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals".
(For the group of ladies called Moms Who Care and pray for the children in school). When their meeting was cancelled one week: "There will be no Moms who care this week."
Men's Prayer Breakfast. No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Support Groups
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, even though he diets, yet shall be live.
Music
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
Song Lyrics: What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and briefs to bear.
Sermons
The preacher will preach his farewell massage, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy".
The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
Worship
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The pastor will light his candle from the altar candles.
The ushers will light their candle from the pastor's candle.
The ushers will turn and light each worshipper in the first pew.
If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
Sex and Procreation
Today... Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.
Thursday at 5:00 PM, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his private study.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
In Sickness and Health
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD - Dr. Hargreaves is better.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.
Brother Lamar has gone on to be the Lord.
Miscellaneous
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped My Pledge----Up Yours."
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
Glory of God to all and peas to his people on earth.
Church sign: Jesus Saves!
Safeway sign across the street: Safeway saves you more!
Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.
My Favorite:
Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Name: Bertha Belch. Announcement: Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa".
Events
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
Thursday night: Potluck Supper - Prayer and medication will follow.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
Announcement in a church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals".
(For the group of ladies called Moms Who Care and pray for the children in school). When their meeting was cancelled one week: "There will be no Moms who care this week."
Men's Prayer Breakfast. No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Support Groups
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, even though he diets, yet shall be live.
Music
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
Song Lyrics: What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and briefs to bear.
Sermons
The preacher will preach his farewell massage, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy".
The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
Worship
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The pastor will light his candle from the altar candles.
The ushers will light their candle from the pastor's candle.
The ushers will turn and light each worshipper in the first pew.
If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
Sex and Procreation
Today... Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.
Thursday at 5:00 PM, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his private study.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
In Sickness and Health
On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD - Dr. Hargreaves is better.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.
Brother Lamar has gone on to be the Lord.
Miscellaneous
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped My Pledge----Up Yours."
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
Glory of God to all and peas to his people on earth.
Church sign: Jesus Saves!
Safeway sign across the street: Safeway saves you more!
Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Worst Christmas Carols Ever
I love Christmas music. However, every once in a while, you hear something that is so bad that it makes you want to puke. I am not talking about novelty songs like "I'm Gettin' Nuttin' for Christmas" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." While those songs are irreverent and not quite in keeping with the holiday spirit, they are witty and fun. To make my Hall of Shame, a Christmas Carol must either be blatantly offensive (and not in an ironic way) or be senseless sentimental drivel or be just plain slow and boring. So far I have four songs on the list. Feel free to suggest your own additions.
1. "Santa Claus Will Take You to Hell" by Westboro Baptist Church.
Fortunately, you will NOT hear this song on the radio. However, it just shows that some people just can't stand to see anyone else enjoying the Christmas season. For the unitiated, Westboro Baptist Church is a cultish group which revels in the belief that God will punish everyone but them. They said that the people who died in 9/11 are victims of God's wrath. They show up at the funerals of American soldiers and pronounce God's judgment. Now they have written a Christmas carol in which Santa Claus is blamed for the collapsing economy, the death of soldiers in Iraq and just about everything else in society.
If you don't believe me, go to: http://www.layscience.net/node/421. I have to warn you, this song is offensive to the max.
Thanks to Elle Adair for the tip.
2. "Christmas Shoes" by New Song.
I recently heard this song on the radio and couldn't believe that they would play it without a disclaimer. This is a song about a little boy trying to buy some shoes for his dying mother because "I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight." This has nothing to do with Christmas and is a blatant appeal to sappy sentimentality. I don't know what else to say, other than change the station if this song begins to play.
3. "The Cat Carol" by Bruce Evans.
The JB and Sandy Morning Show recently highlighted this song as one of the worst Christmas Carols ever and I have to agree. It is a song about a cat who is locked outside in a blizzard and who saves a mouse with the heat from his body only to be discovered dead by Santa. According to the song's website, "The Cat Carol has a traditional appeal, but there’s an underlying humour which keeps it from getting too sucky." No, this song is just annoying. While the underlying message about sacrifice in the spirit of the season is very appropriate, the actual song is just so bad. The songs drags along with no sense of irony and is way too cute.
4. "Same Old Lange Syne" by Dan Fogelberg
I have hated this song for years. It limps along like a Yugo with a blown transmission. It contains such profound lyrics as:
This is almost a parody of the bad singer/songwriter who is trying so hard to be earnest but sounds like he is reading a grocery list.
1. "Santa Claus Will Take You to Hell" by Westboro Baptist Church.
Fortunately, you will NOT hear this song on the radio. However, it just shows that some people just can't stand to see anyone else enjoying the Christmas season. For the unitiated, Westboro Baptist Church is a cultish group which revels in the belief that God will punish everyone but them. They said that the people who died in 9/11 are victims of God's wrath. They show up at the funerals of American soldiers and pronounce God's judgment. Now they have written a Christmas carol in which Santa Claus is blamed for the collapsing economy, the death of soldiers in Iraq and just about everything else in society.
If you don't believe me, go to: http://www.layscience.net/node/421. I have to warn you, this song is offensive to the max.
Thanks to Elle Adair for the tip.
2. "Christmas Shoes" by New Song.
I recently heard this song on the radio and couldn't believe that they would play it without a disclaimer. This is a song about a little boy trying to buy some shoes for his dying mother because "I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight." This has nothing to do with Christmas and is a blatant appeal to sappy sentimentality. I don't know what else to say, other than change the station if this song begins to play.
3. "The Cat Carol" by Bruce Evans.
The JB and Sandy Morning Show recently highlighted this song as one of the worst Christmas Carols ever and I have to agree. It is a song about a cat who is locked outside in a blizzard and who saves a mouse with the heat from his body only to be discovered dead by Santa. According to the song's website, "The Cat Carol has a traditional appeal, but there’s an underlying humour which keeps it from getting too sucky." No, this song is just annoying. While the underlying message about sacrifice in the spirit of the season is very appropriate, the actual song is just so bad. The songs drags along with no sense of irony and is way too cute.
4. "Same Old Lange Syne" by Dan Fogelberg
I have hated this song for years. It limps along like a Yugo with a blown transmission. It contains such profound lyrics as:
We took her groceries to the checkout stand,
The food was totalled up and bagged.
We stood there lost in our embarrassment,
As the conversation dragged.
This is almost a parody of the bad singer/songwriter who is trying so hard to be earnest but sounds like he is reading a grocery list.
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